‘Killing Floor 2’ and the Missing Nipple Rings

Now, there are a lot of freaking useless, dumbass ways to spend a year. You could try to develop a flesh-eating loaf of bread to defend your lawn from wayward postmen. You could campaign to get Congress to pass a law forbidding the words 'Justin Bieber' being used on the Internet. But this? This takes the cake, right here.

Killing Floor 2, as you may know, is a Steam shooter endeavoring to be the goriest game ever made. It also has an enemy type, the Bloat, returning from the original. These ghastly, lumpen, make-Jabba-the-Hutt-look-sexy bastards had nipple rings in the first game, which were omitted here. And that? That will not do.

One dedicated, possibly pervtastic player saw Killing Floor 2 preview images of the Bloat without their areola adornments. As a joke, he posted a mock-outraged petition on Tripwire Interactive's forums. It read thusly,
"A great injustice is set to be committed in Killing Floor 2.The grievous absence of this critical component is tearing the community apart, and if it does not return, I predict nothing less than riots in the street. Join me, my fellow Bloat nipple piercing lovers, in my campaign to get our voices heard: BRING BACK THE NIPPLE PIERCINGS."

This, natch, is the kind of righteous cause we can all get behind, and the kind of story you have to hear about on a Monday morning. For the whole dramatic story that unfolded around this campaign, and a good five minutes of your life you'll never get back, hit Kotaku.