Maria Menounos And Her Asstastic To Be on Dancing With the Stars (I Am So Effin’ Confused)

King Solomon I am not. Though I did once make out with a young lady named Sol in a Moroccan coffee house after my first experimentation with... anyhow, the point is, this is one difficult quandary. As much as the television show Dancing with the Stars is an obviously anti-dude, testes-hammering, limp note of a television show that has been scientifically proven to turn hardcore AC/DC loving rock fans into front row sweaty screamers at Adam Lambert concerts (I've got the data), now, our most be-lusted Maria Menounos and her body-by-heaven have joined the cast of the upcoming season, already begun practicing, as evidenced by Maria arriving on set in her stretch pants, and thrown the small intellectual portions of our gray matter into major stupefaction mode.

At this point, we have no idea what to do. I've called a session of the Elders of Egotastic!, a council of very wise, very horny sagely men to ponder this issue and come out with some sound advice within the week. In the mean time, Maria in stretch pants, oh, my. Enjoy.