Why Is The Oscar A Naked Gold Dude With A Sword?

The Oscars are still fresh in our memory and it's still all anyone can talk about. But have you really ever thought about the Oscars? No, I don't mean why we should care to watch a three hour TV show in which millionaires give each other golden statues in self-congratulations. I mean have you ever thought about the Oscars themselves. The world's most famous award is a naked golden man holding a sword. It strikes me as a strange choice for a prize that says, "Hey, congrats. Your movie didn't suck as much as Biodome."

The statue was designed by a guy named Cedric Gibbons, who was the chief artistic director guy at MGM in the 20's. It was sculpted by a dude named George Stanley who modeled it on the body of Emilio Fernandez, a well known Mexican actor that went on to play banditos in lots of movie Westerns. I get that the base is a film reel with five spokes representing the roles of producer, director, actor, writer and technicians. The reason why they chose a naked golden guy with a sword is lost to the history of Hollywood pervertdom. Maybe there is a fetish I was unaware of in which people get off on being painted in metallic colors and playing with medieval weapons? I'm not hear to judge anyone. It's just a good thing that that was what Gibbons was into or else Jennifer Lawrence would have received a "woman dressed like a clown farting into a fat artistic director's mouth" award.