Lilly Rose Depp’s Rock Hard Pokies Won’t Be Ignored

I have never been more curious about the contents of a package than I am about what is inside Lily Rose Depp’s envelope. Not even when I was a child and filled with hope on Christmas day did I so desperately want to know what presents I was about to receive.

I have never even seen a red envelope before. As far as I was aware the only option was to use those tan manila ones. To think, this whole time I could have been impressing all sorts of simple minded people like myself with brightly colored envelopes. Instead I have been using the boring ones like everybody else.

What occasion calls for a red envelope? I imagine that is the sort of delivery system that people use when they are putting out a contract hit on someone. The paper trail might not be the smartest thing to provide the legal authorities with, but I think they will appreciate the style with which she is breaking the law. So many criminals are so worried about getting away with the crime they do not even bother with putting on a suit like they did in the golden age of bank robberies.

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA