Lais Ribeiro Smoldering Hot New Topless Attraction

I never thought I’d say this, but I’m going to add starfish to the list of animals that I am willing to trade places with. I do not care if 99 percent of my days are spent in a boring tidal pool, so long as there is a chance that Lais Ribeiro wears me as one half of a bra then I think it would be a life well lived.

What really chafes my ass is that those starfish do not even appreciate what that woman did for them. She gave the equivalent of a cyclops motorboat—only using one boob to rub on a person’s face—and the starfish do not even have the decency to give them a firm little squeeze. I can see why Lais opted to use her own hands as a bra in the rest of the photos. You’d think the starfish didn’t even want to be there.

I support Lais’s decision to use the handbra. She is a strong, independent woman who does not need no sea-dwellers holding her back, or her boobs. I will even go so far as to offer my own services to her if she ever needs a dependable set of gropers.

Photo Credit: Instagram