Alexia’s Ass is a National Treasure

 I have some connections in Hollywood, and the word on the street is that the eighth National Treasure is actually going to center around Alexia's ass. I do not see how that could be as good as the other entries in the series, which were cinematic masterpieces, but it might be able to finally win an Academy Award for cinematography. I still cannot believe how those movies get snubbed every time. 

This installment is going to be a little different than the previous ones. Instead of searching for a hidden treasure from our forebears, Nicholas Cage is going to try and bury his own treasure. Since his desired location happens to reside within Alexia, it is not too hard to imagine that this film is going to be darker in tone. I am not knocking it; I'll still see it when it comes out, for obvious reasons. I only wish the movie studios would stop taking advantage of my man-crush on the Cage. They could have that man fighting space crabs on Uranus and I would still fork over the money for a ticket. The man is a proven talent.  

Photo Credit: Photographer Cam Perry for B-Authentique
[editor's note: the photographer's name is cam? seriously?]