Check Out Tawnni Cable’s Centerfold Vintage Nude Shoot From 1989

It is a relief to see that parents were already making up names for their children all the way back in the ‘80s. As a man of substance, I refuse to acknowledge the spelling of Tawnni’s name as being a legitimate form. What is legitimate, however, is that body she’s got.

If she was able to discover the key to dieting and exercise way back in the day then every person alive today should be ashamed of themselves for falling short of her example. How wannabe internet fitness gurus can continue to claim that they have discovered a new way to get the beach body of everybody’s dreams baffles me.

Clearly if there ever was a secret then it was discovered at least thirty years ago. But based on Playboy’s intensive catalogue, I am inclined to believe that we had the code cracked way before then. So, if Tawnni did not publish her own fitness regime then shame on her for keeping the greatest discovery since that of fire from the people. If she had the mind to put her knowledge out there when it was relevant then maybe we could have avoided all of these snake oil salesmen trying to sell me kale powder.

Photo Credit: Playboy Plus