Don’t Miss All Of Dakota Johnson’s New Nude Scenes From ‘Suspiria’

Suspiria is being dubbed a supernatural movie, but after reading the plot it all feels pretty natural. A German dance school that is run by a coven of witches all feels pretty typical to me. Like, I would find it harder to believe that a German dance school has nothing to do with witchcraft. All of those women living together, speaking German, it can’t lead to wholesome things. That’s all I’m saying.

Throw on top of it the fact that it takes place during the ‘70s and it all makes sense. I think everyone was dabbling in witchcraft in the ‘70s. That is why parents started freaking out in the ‘80s and ‘90s, accusing everyone of worshipping Satan. They remembered what they had done in their youth, and assumed people were still doing it.

I think there is supposed to be a small differentiator between witches and Satan worshippers, but I’m not really sure what it is. I think they are both really into goat heads and pentagrams, but one is more likely to be vegan. I would say they are both equally as likely to make human sacrifices, but that isn’t any more likely than a New England fan would be if it meant getting a win, so that isn’t saying much.

Photo Credit: Mr. Skin