Hannah Strategically Covered in White

 I think my parents must have really done a number on me mentally because instead of being able to focus on the beautiful half naked woman within the frame I am instead fixated on her white blouse. In my adult life I have never been able to trust myself enough to purchase a white item of clothing. Not a shirt, no pants, and certainly no boxers. The burden of responsibility is simply too great. I can barely take care of a black shirt, how can I be expected to keep a white shirt white? It is not only about preventing ketchup stains, because not even the water that it is washed in can be trusted. If a white shirt gets washed in hard water even once it will wind up looking like the bed sheet of a kid at sleep away camp. How can any woman respect a man who is unable to look after his whites? I have it on good authority that that is one of the top five things a woman looks for in a mate. It is ranked right between a man's salary and his current stage of dad bod.  

_{^{Photo Credit: Iris CO}}