Happy Britty Mother’s Day to All the Hot British Mums (Including My Adopted Mum, Liz Hurley)

Here's the thing, while there are any number of veteran hotties who I'd let adopt me into a world of warm blankets and little tender kisses, not to mention the more directly obscene but quite natural Adult Nursing Relationship scene, at the end of the day, I'm quite convinced I do need a British mum to bring me up proper, bake up the crumpets, and put on the bawdy English lingerie when my friends come over to play. But I digress.

So, while we belated celebrate yesterday's British Mum's Day in the Old Country, I'd like to give a personal shoutout and adoption-worthiness notice to Elizabeth Hurley, who I think would make a great maternal figure in this man's life. I've had a thing for Liz Hurley since way back when, not the least of which is when these topless bikini pictures arose from the Caribbean now more than a decade ago, pre-Egotastic!, but not pre-my troubled soul. Call me, Liz, I'm already packed.