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bill-swift - October 25, 2012
When I was a kid, word got out on the schoolyard grapevine that one of the moms from the next school neighborhood over liked to clean her house without her clothes on. We never questioned why or asked what she looked like, we just tried desperately to get an address so we could sneak out of school and get a peek at this nekkid sight.
Finally, one day, Keeto Reins, the kid who had a moustache in sixth grade due to a combination of swarthy genetics and being held back two years due to a serious case of illiteracy got the lowdown on the prized address of the nekkid housewife. Four of us ditched school and made our way one eventful Tuesday to the premises of the home to peek into the window. The sound of a vacuum signaled that we would soon be receiving our long sought after visual treat, as each of us peered in through an alley side window pane, to get a clear shot of... a 250+ lb. woman in a fuzzy green thong (which was only visible when her ginormous cheeks turned past 60-degrees) slurping up some fuzzy bits off her carpet. We didn't ask the right questions and our minds forever are paying the price.
It's been a very long time, and countless hours of failed therapy, but I think today I am finally made whole again thanks to the less large, and far more lovely nekkid treats of Melissa Debling cleaning her house in the buff for a Zoo magazine pictorial. Oh, sure, it's not a real house, and wicked hot girls like Melissa don't spend their days tidying up, not when people are paying them to tidy-down, but, as far as cleansing the sullied 'Hot Nekkid Cleaning Housewife' folder in the folds of my grey matter, consider it purged via spectacular funbags. Enjoy.