Micaela Schaefer Colorfully Topless and So Very Germanic Boobtastic

There's two ways to look at exhibitionist model and TV hostess Micaela Schaefer. One is that she obviously had some canoodling of the 90210 variety on her German racktastic. Two is that she did so so she could share the joy of topless chesty treats with the rest of the world. No matter how you slice it, no pun intended, she's a giver, not a taker. I admire that in a woman who will never ever date me in a hundred million years without my fake mustache and French banker persona, Claude de Peux of the Avignon de Peux's.

Micaela got jiggy with her jigglies for this Tobia Dorer photoshoot that uses lots of bright colors and fruit to help highlight the Bavarian gourds Micaela brings to work each morning. She always just seems so happy. That makes me happy. So much better than those uncomfortable awkward glances when I tell runaways how I'm going to make them famous if they just become a little less shy for the camera. Micaela, wunderbar. Enjoy.