Miley Cyrus Nothing Breaks Like A Handbra

Like one of our commenters likes to constantly point out, Miley Cyrus is your hot hillbilly cousin who would definitely fuck you if you asked. That's like 90% of her appeal. She gets to that thing in a lot of men that fantasize about fucking their cousins. What? I mean, no, not that.

If Miley Cyrus and I were cousins, however, I'd at least roll the dice. What do you have to lose other than the respect of your family if she turns you down and then proceeds to tell your chatty Uncle Tim, who in turn tells everyone in the god damned family. Thanks Uncle Tim, so much for patient-doctor confidentiality.

It'd make any family get together after that awful. In fact, you'd probably stop getting invited to them, and your mom will hold a grudge against you to this very day for it because now she can't go out of the house without someone in our family reminding them that their son wants to fuck his cousin.

So yeah, all of that. It's what all of this is about, isn't it? Miley Cyrus conjures up these feelings and they come from a dark place that all of us know. Some people just like to touch that dark place in front of their cousin. What's so wrong with that?

Photo Credit: Instagram / MEGA