READER FIND: Jana Perez’s Brand New Incredible Sex Scenes From “Cocaine Coast”

Wow. There are not many things that can make me channel my inner Owen Wilson, but a show about drug smuggling that also has gratuitous sex scenes is one way to make it happen.

You know, I am something of a smuggler myself. I never went so far as to transport drugs, but I have been known to bring in some outside food and beverages to the movie theater, so I think I am about on par with the best of them. My photo is plastered in half the theaters in the southwest due to my abilities. They call me The Burro.

I once successfully smuggled a keg full of non-alcoholic beer into the theater along with fifty Solo cups. I made a fortune while those patrons remained oblivious. I snuck out using the darkness as cover, leaving them with glorified piss water and the impending onset of delirium tremens.

I do not recommend this lifestyle to everyone, but if it calls to you then you should start small. Bring in typical theater candy at first, like Nerds, that way if you do get caught you can claim you bought it there. And if they still do not believe you then you can spill them on the floor and make your getaway.

Photo Credit: Mr. Skin