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brian-mcgee - May 14, 2018
I find that the problem with most horror films is their utter implausibility. However, now that I've seen these pics of Nadeea Volianova under attack from birds, I may never be able to watch Hitchcock's The Birds ever again. Same with Birdemic, though for totally unrelated reasons.
These birds really are a nuisance. Can't they tell there's a hot Russian babe stripping down on the beach? Why do they want to ruin everyone's good time. I have a theory: This is avian revenge for Randy Johnson killing that bird with a big unit fastball back in the day...
All because of that impeccably timed hundred mile an hour fastball, we're all in danger of being taken out by the birds now. That's no way to live, in constant fear of an avian attack from above.
We should maybe think about moving somewhere where there's no birds. I don't know if such a place exists, but it's definitely worth looking into. They've seen the footage and they won't stop until revenge is enacted.
Why not just camp out by Johnson's pad, birds? He did this to you, and just because we all laughed in amazement doesn't necessarily make us complicit. Fight the real enemy!
Photo Credit: Splash News